Thoughts on Depression Quest

Depression Quest by Zoe Quinn, Patrick Lindsey, Isaac Schankler caused quite a stir when it came out in 2013 (and bigger yet in 2014). I long avoided the game, figuring it wasn't that worthwhile for a combination of reasons: I've never had it recommended despite its significance in online gaming culture, the screenshots don't look very inviting, and I've heard negative impressions from depressed people that found it didn't represent them well. After finally giving it a go, I'm glad I did and would recommend anyone do the same (play it here). If I were to give it a score it would be 2/5; I don't think it's a good game (not technically a game at all, but that's another discussion). Yet I do find it interesting and thought provoking.

I'll start with a summative review going over what I liked or disliked; then link some good reviews and essays concerning the game (there are a few good pieces out there, despite what you might think by reading the heaps of "it's not fun" with optional "(and that's a good thing)" reviews); and end with various thoughts I noted down while playing.

Review

I found Depression Quest relatable, but not resonant. Descriptive and expository, rather than demonstrative. The main character's circumstances are not as relatable as her condition, with no problems with money, responsibilities or love. The interaction and how it limits your options is a neat metaphor, but ultimately says little and doesn't emulate depression (even this specific experience of depression) 1:1 in the player. I like the way it sometimes more subtly hints at the character's wish to be normal, when it's not too on the nose.

A problem with the metaphor and meta gameplay is that min-maxing isn't the intended playstyle (it's too easy), yet when your game stats already remove the "best" options it really makes it seem like you're supposed to pick what's "best" out of what's still left (if you're supposed to roleplay and pick sub-optimal stuff, why remove the better options?). Finally, there's a central meta conflict in whether the main character represents the player or not, and there are some problems whichever one you go with. Mainly, the specifics aren't relatable enough to insert myself in the character's shoes, and a lot of elements are left too vague for her to be a strong individual character.

Critical Data

Christopher "Campster" Franklin: Errant Signal - Actual Sunlight + Depression Quest (Spoilers)

Jed Pressgrove: http://storycade.com/depression-quest/

Noah Caldwell-Gervais: Depression Quest and the Rhetoric of Gamer Identity

Some in depth thoughts at r/games.  

Thoughts In Order

• Some rather basic writing, and the tone is at times whiny. Maybe it's due to how the game is telling you about how you feel, like "you get the impression they don't fully understand you".
• I don't get the impression that it's speaking for all people with depression, or that it's pretending that people without depression will actually experience what it's like just by reading this, sure. But even without those obvious missteps avoided, and it lining up with personal experiences too, I'm not sure what is there really. It fails to really deliver any kind of message or resonate with its endless descriptions of how you feel. It's like a documentary, or biography, but presented as a generic experience rather than something personal (i.e. it's talking about you, not an established character that you inhabit).
  
• Inconsistencies are fairly frequent because of the narrative structure (or just being poorly thought out, I'm not sure how much variance there is here playthrough to playthrough):
  "As soon as you think about the work that awaits you at home you can feel the panic creeping in from the back of your brain, unbidden. (…) By the time you arrive home and change out of your uncomfortable work clothes the stress is weighing down on you like a heavy, wet wool blanket. (…) You want to sit down and work but the mere thought of trying to work sends your stress levels flying; more than anything you feel suddenly and absolutely exhausted, and feel a strong desire to simply hide in bed."
  Into:
  "All of the motivation and ideas you had when you arrived home vanish in a flash"
• Show, don't tell:
  "You know she's giving you the advice that makes sense to her, and genuinely wants the best for you, however she doesn't understand that it's not as simple as somehow deciding to be positive or work harder - it's that those things aren't viable options because of these feelings."
• This stilted attempt at conveying how every decision revolves around your depression and what a normal person can consider and choose instead. It's almost funny:
  1: Take the cat, knowing full well that you can take great care of it.
  2: Decline. Even though you'd be totally capable of taking care of it, you're not much of a cat person.
  3: Become a cat owner. You could use the companionship.
  4: Decline. You're not in a good enough place to be taking on more responsibility right now.
  5: Decline. You don't like cats.
• A good example of the same thing is about seeing your brother after being at the dentist office:
  1: Laugh about your dorky night guard with your brother.
  2: Tell him about the night guard and why you need it.
  3: (Lie) Tell him it was a routine cleaning.
  4: Tell him about your tooth grinding problem, but not the stress causing it.
  I really like how this conveys the character's thoughts and emotional state. It's not just a strictly superior option of being more honest and open, but more about how you wish you could crack a joke about the state of things and have a more relaxed attitude.
• Several times there are clear grammatical errors which puzzles me.
• There's many choices where even though I'm deeply depressed, I have three options: doing the thing all bright and happy about it (crossed out), doing the thing but being a bitch about it, and not doing the thing.
• When the "optimal"/"desirable" options are forcefully taken away from you, roleplaying and choosing the bad options from the few you're given is very odd, and I think that's how you're intended to do it. Not that any other way would be better, but it doesn't help my ambivalence towards the interaction. If you're supposed to optimize your depression then it's too easy to do so, while if you're supposed to be roleplaying it's weird to limit options on top.
  
• I don't like the meta progression of getting less and less depressed. I kind of get part of it (it's a positive or negative cycle), but dealing with depression to me is more about learning to live with it and working around it, than just getting better and suddenly being able to do everything better.
• While I relate to the main character's experience of depression, their situation is not very relatable at all. A brother, girlfriend, old friend, internet friend and (pretty soon) a cat and therapist, each relationship positive and every person genuinely supportive and patient. They have a job, even if there aren't future prospects, and no overwhelming responsibilities besides that. This isn't a "why are you depressed if your life is so great?", but it is often our circumstances that bring us down and bring out the worst in us, while here it's instead just layered on top. When everything is so perfect now and the player barely manages to cope, it doesn't seem like things would go well if your girlfriend moved away once they graduated, or you lost your job, or you had a proper falling out with your family, or whatever. Then again, depression is a first world illness mostly and things are relatively perfect for the most part even if you have to deal with (shock, horror) a long-distance relationship.
• A more jarring thing is how the character has no hobbies or clear desires, but kind of acts like they do in terms of wanting to shake off depression and "do something fun" or whatever. It's just confusing and I frequently ask myself why these options even exist. There's lines like "when you were in high school you had much larger plans" that fail to engage in any way, either establish a character that I can relate to with a specific background, or make a true blank slate and let me insert my own experiences more closely.
• Jesus:
  "Still, over the years you've done enough entry-level reading on the subject to know that, if it doesn't help at least it probably won't hurt, right?"
  Antidepressants cause people to hate themselves, descend into chaos, and commit suicide, as well as various serious side effects unrelated to mood. It most definitely can hurt. If this was an uninformed thought, fair enough (though it is drugs…), but this is what you're supposed to believe despite research? These are warnings on the box since early 2000s.
  
• Even more weird forbidden choices:
  1: Take your relationship to the next step with ease. Move in together.
  2: Tell her you want to but have concerns, and discuss them honestly.
  2. Tell her you don't think it's a good idea for you right now.
  3. Decide to move in regardless of your worries.
  The first isn't an option, it's a hypothetical option for a completely different situation. The best option here is 2, by far. I guess it's to communicate that the character wants to be able to do this with ease, but it's so on the nose.
• At the Christmas dinner, the player character reflects on the lessons learned and how far they've come, but a lot of it is quite separate from the player's actions. This page of "my" thoughts is the ultimate "tell, don't show" moment of the game. They write in the epilogue they didn't want a tidy ending, but I feel that's exactly what this is.
• I think ultimately, the dialogue choice limits don't give insight into the why, and thus fails to make real use of the medium. All it does is say "depressed people simply can't do what they want/need to do". Your acceptance of this as a player doesn't reflect how it plays out in real life, with confusion and struggle.